This post was submitted to us by Maranatha Ohemaah Dadzie, who runs a social enterprise called Hope in Quotes. Hope in Quotes is based in Ghana. In addition to supplying positive, motivational content, HiQ supports a scholarship fund.
There are lots of criticisms in our era today, but we’re our own worst critics. While we were looking at the problem of acceptance, I remember mentioning that we’re going to find ceaseless waves of insecurity if we were given the chance to know what everyone has on his or her mind.
First of all, let’s define criticism. Criticism is said to be the act of expressing disapproval of someone or something on the basis of perceived faults or mistakes. In layman’s language, criticism is regularly pointing out people’s mistakes and failures, and using it to limit their capabilities.
You know, life is what you make it. Yes, we struggle so much. Yes, we go through the heat. But that’s just to make us a better person. You’re probably wondering how what you’re currently going through is going to make you a better person. It doesn’t have to make sense right now, but it’s going to one day.
I remember one time in high school, two girls were fighting. Let’s name them A and B. So the case came to the knowledge of one of our sports teachers and she called them to hear their sides of the story. Apparently, B was being too overconfident and bossy and A didn’t like it. This is what the teacher told A: “You’ve been brought to this school for a reason. There’s a reason why your path has crossed with B. You must learn to cope with her attitude, so that when you become a fully grown woman with a secured job and another bossy and overconfident individual happens to be your boss, you’d be able to cope with it because you once coped with a classmate who was also bossy and overconfident.” Always have it at the back of your mind that, the struggles that we go through prepare us for the future that lies ahead.
I know how disappointing it can be when you realize that the reflection you saw of yourself in the mirror, few moments ago, is different from what you’re seeing in the camera because the camera adds 10 pounds. I know how disappointing it can be when you seem to be an outgoing person among your friends, but the moment you climb that stage, you just feel like crumbling inside a hole. I know how disappointing it can be to have no comebacks during an argument, but once you get home you tell yourself that, “I should’ve said this when he/she/they said/did that.” Do you realize that all these scenarios that I’ve listed above have nothing to do with external critics? We’re our own worst critics.
A renowned person walks into a room and asks for a number of people to do a task, and the first thing that leaves your mouth is someone else’s name but not yours. This happens because you’re failing to see your worth.
In order to deal with criticism, you’ve got to appreciate every single thing about you, and that should be both the good and the bad. In order to help people deal with criticism you’ve got to appreciate the things they do for you. This creates the ability for errors and the fears that most people have of not doing something right to diminish.
I believe that once we deal with our inner critics, we’re going to have no time for the external ones. I doubt you’d let that friend who thinks that you’re so bad at drawing get to you after you’ve understood that you can’t just flip a switch and become the best artist that has ever graced the world. It’s definitely going to take some time, but all that you’ve to do is to keep working your way towards there.
Criticism can be used for both good and bad. When using it for good, use an even tone. In order to do this, you’ve to tap the center of your heart to be more soft and clear in your communications.
And always remember that the more you show appreciation to someone who is on the path of progress rather than criticism, the more welcoming you’re going to seem to people.
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